When did I stop believing in God with a capital 'G'?
I haven't stopped wanting the stability and purpose and comfort that religion offers, but I don't want those things at the cost of the wide world and its possibilities. I will not trade my fears and insecurities for compulsory shut down of my reason on matters of politics, evolution, social justice, and science.
It's not a fair trade.
So instead, I settle for a loose and ambiguous spirituality. It is far less comforting to me in times of despair, but, in choosing to cope with the occasional destabilization, I keep the full scope of possibility in which I can enjoy and love this life (and the plants, animals and persons who share it with me).
Outside of the restriction of organized religion, I have infinite range for my appetites, imagination and humanity - more freedom with which to devour this life and learn its surprising lessons. Whatever comes after, this mortal life is likely the only one I'm going to get and should not be wasted by the second, hour, day, or year.
My reality and my ideology were at war for the first twenty years of my life. Now I discard the ideology and choose to live in the sublime technicolor now.
I am not an atheist, but I reject religion.
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"Atheism, in a broad sense, is the rejection of belief in the existence of deities."
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheism
You say you're not an atheist, however believe this definition still applies. If the shoe fits, would you wear it?
Love you,
Sis